Newbie roadies – look proficient like this

road cycler and shadow

If you’re just entering the world of cycling, avoid these steps to stop looking like you are…

1. CLIPPING ANNOYING
Clipless pedals are the bane of many a novice cyclist’s life. Mastering them will improve pedalling efficiency and will make you look like a proper rider. But make sure you practise somewhere quiet where you won’t be seen – preferably on grass because you will fall off. Everyone does when they first use them. If you do this in private and on grass you won’t be embarrassed and the chances of injury are minimised. Do it on your local cycle path and you’re a prime target for derision. Do it on the road and your life might be at risk.

2. CHOOSE YOUR KIT
There are two golden rules here. Firstly, don’t dress head to toe like Chris Froome or Daryl Impey. Full replica kits will make you look like a fan, not a serious rider. They’re also expensive and there are so many more options out there that will suit you better, save you money and help you blend in with other seasoned amateur cyclists. Secondly, make sure your kit fits correctly. Too tight and it will look like you’ve never worn Lycra before. Too loose and you’ll be losing efficiency due to flapping clothing, which will make you look like you don’t know what you’re doing.

3. BOTTLE IT
One water bottle cage on your frame makes you look like you’re the type of rider who only ever goes out for the newspapers. Three is overkill – all that does is add extra weight and suggests you know nothing about pre-race hydration. But the biggest faux pas of all is the hydration pack. They’re great off-road and work well as conversation pieces and contraptions for drinking beer from at parties, but if you go riding with one on the road and are spotted by any cycling friends, you might find your phone stops ringing…

  • therealjouba

    Very nice piece.

  • Taun Bewsher

    I love cycling, but I actually don’t like cyclists, because of exactly the things mentioned in this article. If I want three bottle cages, I will put three on my bike, if I’m riding 100km plus unsupported, I’m going to take my camelback. Who cares what you look like, all that matters is that you are having fun on your bike

    • Coen

      Absolutely agree!! That’s also why I probably prefer Mtb…not as many fake hangups!!

    • K MC

      Late to the party here but couldn’t agree more. Just bought a road bike and I’m wondering if I should have purchased a hybrid so I can do whatever I want without receiving sneers and weird looks because I’m not doing it the way you’re supposed to do it.

  • Jo

    You dont need all the gear and fancy things. Just ride your bike.

  • Jack

    Dumb article